Seven months ago today was the worst day of my life... at least I thought that at the time. I was so worried... worried that I would watch him walk away from me and never see him again, never feel his hand reach for mine riding in the truck, never get another text from him in the middle of the day just to say he loves me, never see him play with Bailey in the backyard again, and I was flat out scared as hell that I'd never be able to be the mother to his child if something happened to him.
I have learned so much from this experience. The first few days were filled with sadness and loneliness, I relied a lot on my Army friends and my parents here for support. There is something to be said for friends going through the same difficult event with you, there is just an understanding and a peace of being with them... they understand you more than anyone else during that time in your life. I have learned to embrace that. I have also learned that I need to rely on my Heavenly Father more than JB, not just when he is gone, but also when he is here with me. I have learned when I am getting too busy, and that I needed to stop stepping up for things and let others take a leadership position. I have learned what it means to fully trust in God. I had/have absolutely no control over the conditions over there, so I had to trust that God was going to protect him and bring him home to me. I've learned that I need to stop worrying about other aspects in my life as well, because He's taught me that he's going to take care of those things, too :) Most of all, I've learned to be thankful. To be thankful for this amazing, crazy, wonderful journey of life. It's full of suspense, mystery, love, friendship, sadness, and heartbreak. I've realized without that heartbreak I wouldn't have learned as much as I have throughout the past seven months, and so for that sadness, loneliness, and heartbreak; I am thankful... I am especially really freaking thankful that he will be home so so soon. (knock on wood!)
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